Labyrinth, 9/11/08

Yesterday, at 6:40 a.m., the paving stones for the labyrinth were delivered. That’s right, just as I stepped out of the shower, our doorbell rang. It seems that the forklift was not going to fit through the carport. Sheesh. We had the guy put it down on the side of the carport, in our neighbor’s yard.

Ginny had been fretting in a negative way since I had told her I’d ordered the stones, and now she fretted about it being in Sue’s yard. Since she enjoys fretting, I helped her by refusing to fill her in with any details about my plans, since each time I tried I was greeted with more negative fretting.

But my plan was to move the stones down to the back yard anyway, no matter where they had been delivered. True, if they’d been put down in the driveway, I actually wouldn’t have had to move them until I was installing them, but no matter.

So when I got home from school, I stripped down for action and got to work. An army of one, I scooped them up six at a time and walked them down the driveway. I had set up the iPhone/speaker combo, so Pandora was giving me the beat with my Tosca channel, and it was one of those fun times when you just sweat and do the work.

Here’s the new pile, down by the house. I figured it would be out of the way of anything we were doing back there until the stones were all installed.

That’s 672 stones, by the way, at 4.4 pounds apiece, which works out to about 3,000 pounds. So yes, I moved a ton and a half of paving stones yesterday afternoon. And yet I am somehow not buff this morning. Maybe it takes a day or two to show up.

My dilemma is now increased multifold: pave the path, or pave the outline? It would be unconscionable for me to pave the path, just in terms of cost. I have no right to spend that kind of money on this project, even spread out over a year or two. But it would be an amazing thing to have done, and to have. If I pave the outline, then I could probably have the whole thing done by the Lichtenbergian annual meeting in December. But then as a matter of aesthetics, what do I do about the path? It’s all scrubby grass and weeds, and I could easily spend half the total cost of paving the path on treating the soil and growing grass.

The other aspect of it, as I laid out a circle of stones in the center last night by candlelight, is just how attractive a path paved by me would be. We’re not talking closely fitted cobblestones here.

So here’s what I’m thinking. I’m going to lay out the center, then lay out a couple of the tight turns, just to see if it would be attractive at all. If not, then I’m going to go with the outline instead.

Discuss.

Hey, wait a minute…

As I continue to figure out ways to nudge friends and relations away from their deep-seated impulses to vote for John McCain, I realized in full the tidy little scam being pulled on the Amurkan people.

  1. Cut taxes for the richest 1% of the populace (let’s call them “George’s Friends”) on the grounds that they invest that money and keep the economy going. The rest of us (let’s call them “the Rest of Us”) get basically nothing.
  2. George’s Friends invest said moneys (when they’re not buying another home or car) in Bear Stearns.
  3. Bear Stearns makes risky decisions in order to increase profits for George’s Friends.
  4. Bear Stearns goes belly up, so the government bails it out.
  5. The Rest of Us pay for the failure through our continued tax payments.
  6. Profit! (Well, for George’s Friends, anyway.)

When you’re George’s Friends, who needs Underwear Gnomes?

Labyrinth: the commitment

On Sunday, I got inspired to uncover the walkway I had created right after we added on to the house. The bricks came from an old coal furnace chimney on the back of the house. I’ve edged my herb garden and all of my plantings with this brick, and I probably ought to go in and dig out the rest of it from under the bamboo and use it in the labyrinth itself.

Anyway, over the last 15 years the walkway had gotten grown over with moss and dirt, so I decided on the spur of the moment to try to recover it. It was a lot easier than I thought: all I had to do was pry up each brick, get the moss off of it, put a little dirt back in the base, and reset the bricks. Presto! New walkway.

Today’s big news is that I went to Home Depot and ordered a pallet of the small square pavers to be delivered on Thursday. That’s nearly 700 pieces, over 3,000 pounds. Cost? Who’s counting?

How far will one pallet go? I have no idea. Using my superior math skills, I’m thinking the four-foot circle at the center is about 12-1/2 sq. ft., which means it will take approximately 50 pavers to cover it.

Let ‘s see. Follow this closely:

  • Using my trusty flexible ruler, I discover that the path of my blueprint is app. 138 inches long.
  • With 10 squares to the inch (who uses decimal graph paper??), that’s .33 inches per foot on the blueprint.
  • That means that the 138 inches length on the blueprint is a 418-foot path.
  • It take six pavers for every foot, so that’s 2,509 pavers that I’ll need in the long run.
  • With 672 pieces to the pallet, that’s a little under 4 pallets.

Yep, that’s an expensive proposition. But if I spread it out over a year and a half, let’s say, it’s not too unaffordable. Maybe I need to go online to the Home Depot and do their opinion poll and win the $5,000 gift card.

Meditation: From separation to serenity

One reason I have not been faithful to the “daily meditation” thing is that the meditations in A Quiet Strength are just so sappy. I knew they were, and I figured I would either react to the sentiment therein or just use the title for my own purposes. But the overwhelming blue-ness of it all gets to me.

I know everyone is wondering how much I accomplished on the labyrinth today, and the answer is nothing. Coriolanus rehearsal all morning, of course, and then I got home and realized that there’s nothing more to do until I learn how to lay paving bricks.

Sure, Home Depot has instructions, but they’re mostly for nice, rectangular areas. Plus which, the actual installation, rectangular or not, involves skills and equipment I don’t have yet. One has to excavate the earth to a depth of two and a half inches, how exactly does one do that? The paving stone catalog says you then till the soil to mix in concrete to form a base. I’m not going to do that: too expensive, too permanent. Then everyone agrees you add an inch of sand, pounding into place with a pounder thingie.

I am under no illusion that this is a one, two or even three-day job. This is a year-and-a-half job. Either I pound that sand with a pec-inducing hand pounder, or I find a way to buy or rent a machine to do that. You can see the rental fees mounting up, but buy one? Sheesh.

Then the circularity of the thing. I know I have to buy/rent a bandsaw to cut curved stones. Again, sheesh.

Then there’s the actual purchase of heaven knows how many tons of paving stones. Yes, tons. One pallet of stones will cover 144 square feet, and it weighs over 2,000 pounds. I don’t have the math skills even to estimate how many square feet this thing is. Kevin?

My interior argument is to go ahead and get started, and by October 25, I can play freaking Aufidius with my shirt off. Let’s see if that happens.

So, anyway, today’s meditation.

The gist of the book’s little screed is that we’re all wounded fellows, don’t you know, who have been abandoned or left to die or something, and that if we just stand tall, and I mean that as a Shakespearean pun, so snicker away, we can all avoid the trap of drugs and destructive behavior. Or something.

You see what I mean?

All right, let’s give this a shot. Grown ups, in the Lylesian sense of the word, figure out soon into their adolescence, if not before, that we’re all alone in this together. Further, it does no one any good to bewail our lonely state in the universe. After all, what does the universe care for our wailing?

(Side note: if there is a God, the same applies. What does s/he care for our wailing? Even if she’s an all-loving God, her attitude would have to be like those of us who have slept through our baby’s insistent screams. At some point, God figures, we have to figure out for ourselves how to get through the night.)

Yes, we’re alone, and yes, it hurts. That’s why I have my family, my kitchen, my music, my blog, Lacuna, the Lichtenbergians. That’s why we have Art. We can amuse ourselves with these connections while waiting for the universe to come to our rescue. Which, as grown ups, we know is not going to happen.

So that “serenity” arrived at by the poor hurt creatures in A Quiet Strength should be the natural state for all of us grown up men. It’s false, of course. I don’t think we can ever shake that sense of wanting to be whole with the universe, but as long as we know that we can pass the time with all these distractions, and that that’s what they are, then I think we can figure out how to get through the night.

Now I think I’ll go light a fire in the labyrinth and sip my martini.

Labyrinth, 9/5/08

Here’s a photo of what I’ve laid out this as of afternoon:

It’s nearly 9:00 pm now, and I’m sitting out here by the fire in the center of the labyrinth, candles all round, appropriately new age music playing in the background, margaritas at my elbow. I’m supposedly learning lines, but of course it’s too dark to see anything.

Notice the successive approximations at the entrance at the bottom of the photo. I’m sure there’s some way to make that accurate. I’ve found that the problem is making the center larger than the width of the course of the path. That throws everything else off, which is OK, because I’ve also found that the irregularities of the labyrinth are part of what give it its power. If it were geometrically perfect, it wouldn’t attract us, I don’t think.

The irony of that is that it can be demonstrated (although I can’t find the link) that the entire pattern is a variation of the Greek key (meander) pattern, a purely geometric function if there ever was one. Perhaps there’s something about moving from the paternal grid to the maternal circle that throws everything off.

Now it’s all a matter of deciding how I want to do this. What stones, how well-built, how much money, how much time?

Labyrinth

On Monday, Labor Day, I went to my back yard and began tidying up, cutting down shrubberies and generally just taking a hard look at it. I used to joke that I landscaped nine square feet a year back there, only that was true, not a joke. But since I’m not here during the summer, the back yard has gone if not to ruin at least to deshabille.

Long ago I had nice brick edgings, a brick step path, several little plantings, and a garden bench. Now, most of the bricks are under dirt or moss, the plantings have been swallowed up by ivy, and I’d be afraid to sit on the bench.

Still, it is the navel, as it were, of the Lichtenbergian world, so I’ve been thinking about actually turning it into a kind of place… you know, a place.

I’m thinking I want a labyrinth back there.

No, not a maze. A labyrinth. A maze is a puzzle, involving choice and angst. A labyrinth is a single path that arrives at the center through many twists and turns, but you cannot get lost.

This is a labyrinth, the most basic kind, the classic 7-circuit labyrinth. It is what I will be building in my back yard. It’s a left-handed one, since you turn left upon entering it.

The lore of the labyrinth is long and compelling. I won’t go into it all here, only to say that for me it is very compelling indeed. I have built one three times (which is different than building three labyrinths), and the tattoo on my leg is of a Spanish paleolithic rock-carving of this very pattern.

The three I built were all at my school. The first one was the result of an article I had read in one of my magazines, about how hospitals were having these built into their gardens and that there was some evidence to suggest that patients who trod the labyrinth, rather than just walked for their exercise, recovered more quickly. This seemed to true especially for patients who were recovering from brain injuries.

At the time (the late 90s), Newnan Crossing served a population that required a great deal of remediation. For one of the intersessions we did — we were year-round at the time — I had a math teacher challenge his students to build one of these. We got a $1,000 grant from somewhere, I taught them how to draw, and Home Depot came to the school to show the kids their options for ground cover, materials for outlining the pattern, etc. Teams had to come up with a design and a proposal for materials. The motive was for them to learn their multiplication facts, but we would also end with a labyrinth in our courtyard, and I figured that if our kids walked on this thing, hey, like the brain injury patients, it couldn’t hurt, might help.

Here it is, after the kids helped get all those fence rails into place and we had most of the mulch spread out. It had wide paths so that many kids could play in it at once, and it had straight sides because it was cheaper and easier (as you’ll see in its next incarnation.)

This was set in between the two wings of the school. I was very clever, since we were going to be under construction starting that summer, to check the floorplans and make sure we wouldn’t be caught up in the debris. I got it finished on the Sunday before I drove to GHP that summer.

Foolish man. That very week, the principal was horrified to walk out one morning to see the bulldozers tearing it up. There was a walkway being built across the courtyard that was not in the plans we’d been given.

I waited a couple of years before trying again. This time, my brother-in-law Daniel designed and built a four-foot-tall concrete sundial, and we designed a labyrinth to go around that on the new playground.

Here it is. We got the lawn edgers laid out, and I was only halfway through getting them in the ground before I was told that the sundial was dangerous and had to come out.

We moved it to the front of the school, where it still stands and where I use it in my lessons about shadows and the sun with kindgarteners.

Then I was told I had to move the labyrinth itself because playground equipment was going to go there. Again, I had checked before putting it up there.

So I moved it all back to the courtyard and tried again. I had a webpage on my site where I listed the times I would be working on it, and that information went home in the school newsletter, but I never had any help on this version. (Three dads were magnificent in getting the sundial up and going.)

I finally got it done and was waiting for some funding from the PTO for mulch, since I had basically paid for the rest of it myself. Somehow, that was snafu’d as well, and I got home from GHP several summers ago to find it gone. “It was an eyesore and might have been in the way if we had to work on the drains,” it was claimed, even though the butterfly garden on the other end of the courtyard was in total disarray and completely blocked access to the courtyard, and parents came in and put new mulch in the butterfly garden at the same time my labyrinth was being removed. Needless to say, I have not done a great deal of volunteer work for my school since then.

So, it’s been a couple of years since I built one of these, and like the pangs of childbirth, one forgets how much work it is.

This afternoon I laid out my stakes and string and got half of the pattern spray painted onto the ground. I’ll complete the bottom half tomorrow. It was very pleasant: I brought my living room speaker out, plugged my iPhone directly into it, and had Pandora play my New Age station while I worked. I’ve begun placing neat candle holders around the yard, and I lit those as it got dark. Finally, I just lit the fire and imagined the yard as the space I would like for it to be. It’s going to be a haven.

And since I know you’re going to ask, here’s my tattoo:

Disbelief

I am extremely disturbed by the reaction of the paleocon crowd to John McCain’s selection of Sarah Palin as his running mate. They have gone from apathetic about his candidacy, if not outright antipathetic, to joyful. Finally, a real conservative on the ticket, change they can believe in!

And why? She’s one of them: a rightwing, conservative Christian, anti-abortion hardliner. And I’m thinking: is this all you got? Abortion? Is this the single, overwhelming problem you think we need to solve in our nation, so much that all other positions, policies, and qualifications of a candidate can be disregarded? Should be disregarded? Now you can be excited about electing the man who will continue almost all of George W. Bush’s disastrous policies?

There’s also something ghoulish about their glee. I read one supporter’s comment who actually said that it wasn’t reasonable to expect McCain to live through his first term, and then we’d have our first woman President. Heavens.

I am not too torqued about her “lack of experience.” Some of us on this planet are just preternaturally competent, and she may be one of us. It does mean that the McCain campaign have to drop their attack on Obama as unprepared.

It’s more her religious extremist background that concerns me. Creationism? No place in our educational system or in our government. Anti-abortion? Dangerous. That’s on top of her usual Republican issues. Anti-environmentalist? Can’t afford it, people. Big Oil buddy? Been there, done that, and look how that’s worked out.

She’s anti-corruption? Where was she when the Republican party needed her for the past eight years? And does that include her own Troopergate, which is scheduled to hit the news cycle right before the election?

The base of my extreme unease over her selection, and the joy with which it’s being celebrated out on the fringes, is that the American people are just so damned dumb. There are a host of issues and policies that they need to be looking at before selecting a candidate, but they go with gut feelings and personality traits. I actually had a teacher ask me the other day if I thought Obama was secretly Muslim. WTFF?

Don’t do this, people. For once in your Fox-News-blighted lives, find out what the candidates would do if elected, and vote for the one who would make the America you want your children to live in, even if he is black or can’t remember how many homes he owns. Then maybe I could sleep at night.

Jazz class

Jazz dancers, download your instructions here.

Yes, it’s true, I’m taking the adult jazz class on Tuesday nights at the Newnan School of Dance. Marc talked me into it, he’s also taking it, although he was nowhere to be seen last night and I hope it takes him weeks to catch up with the new choreography, and it’s of course a lot of fun.

I’ve never taken jazz before. I was a ballet guy twenty-five years ago, and I wasn’t bad at all. Precision and passion were my fortes. Extension was not. But I loved it a lot. I would have taken classes a lot longer, but Bettina rescheduled the advanced classes for the evenings, rather than the afternoons, and NCTC had the prior claim. So I had to give it up.

I think I’d still rather be in a ballet or modern class, but for the moment I’m in jazz and having a good time.

Are there body issues? Well, naturally. When I was in ballet, I was too thin. Now I’m too fat. I never had a lean, lithe, sleek dancer’s body, and while I keep pretending that dance is for all of us, the truth is that a lean, lithe, sleek body just is exciting to watch and mine is, well, not as.

I’ve been surprised and pleased at a) how quickly I’ve been able to pick up the choreography; and b) how sore I am not the day after class. That really surprised me: I thought I would be completely sore and hobbled for at least three days after the first class, but I felt nothing. Perhaps this is due to my moderately increased activity level recently. I have, since April, lost 20 pounds, and I can tell the difference in many aspects of my life: pants don’t fit, I’m not out of breath, and jazz class doesn’t leave me sore after warmups and choreography.

The class puts me out of the house on Tuesday nights, so that’s Monday (Masterworks), Tuesday (dance), and Wednesdays (Coriolanus) that are not available to me for composing. I think I will devote Thursday nights to that effort, which should begin next week.

Excelsior!

Musings

Yes, I know I said I’d write every day, but you didn’t actually believe me, did you?

The Lacuna Group has had two work sessions, I hesitate to call them rehearsals, on our production of Coriolanus, and I have to say that I’m very excited.

It’s not that I’m confident, yet, about our chances of success, although things are looking very positive that we’re going to show up on October 25 at the Greenville Street Park with something worth watching. It’s just that the sheer brainpower in the room is exhilarating. It’s like being at GHP twice a week: ideas flow, textual analysis just happens, and there are mad skillz all round.

One of the rather interesting things about the group is their willingness to play. We have not cast any roles (although we keep putting Marc as Volumnia); we’re not planning on casting the show for another week. We’re just playing with scenes, solving problems (Can we keep the fickle Citizens from getting laughed at? How mean is Volumnia? How can we point up the tempo changes in this scene? How do we show Romans being routed on the battlefield?), switching out roles, exploring.

Somehow, out of all this, ideas happen, and eventually, we trust, decisions will be made.

I say “somehow,” but that suggests we don’t know how it works. We do know how it works. It works as advertised: you play without concern about result, and results come without concern. It is a marvelous way to pass one’s time.

It’s also rather wonderful to be reunited with such great actors from my past: Greg Lee, Dan Coleman, Jeff Bishop, Kevin McInturff, Marc Honea. (Matthew Bailey and Jeff Allen join us… Saturday, guys?) I only wish the others whom we’d invited to join us had the time to do so. To hear those familiar voices tackle Shakespeare’s language with even greater assurance than the last time we were all together is heartwarming. I’m verklempt.