Lichtenbergian Charter: Article IV – Officers

Posted on by Dale

Section 1, There shall be three officers, consisting of a Chair, a Secretary, and an Aphorist.

  • The Chair shall call the Annual Meeting and preside over it. He shall also appoint Vice-Chairs as necessary for any Special Meetings.
  • The Secretary shall record the Proceedings of the Annual Meeting in the Record Book. He shall also handle any Correspondence and Finances that are necessary.
  • The Aphorist will use his knowledge of the writings of Georg Christoph Lichtenberg to engage the Membership in an Understanding of Life.

Section 2, Officers shall be appointed by acclamation at the Annual Meeting. The term of office shall be until the next Annual Meeting, the date of which shall be determined at the prior Annual Meeting.

Section 3, If an Officer is unable to complete his Term of Office, he shall ask the Membership to replace him pro tempore via the usual incorporeal Communication.

updated Section 2, 12/17/07, by CM Dale Lyles, to reflect CM Jeff Bishop’s obsessive insistence that terms of office be delineated, and to allay his insistence on other items of even less interest or consequence to Lichtenbergianism and its adherents.

Announcement of Annual Meeting

Posted on by Dale

The first Annual Meeting (also known as the Charter Meeting) of The Lichtenbergian Society will be Saturday, December 22, 2007, at my house, 7:00ish.

Bring whatever you think might contribute to the general air of solemn FESTIVITY, as dictated by the Charter.

The proposed Order of Business:

  • Roll Call (for the Record, and yes, I bought a record book and india ink today)
  • Ratification and signing of the Charter
  • Toast to GCL (need a volunteer)
  • Acclamation of the Officers
  • Corroboration of the Validity of our Claims
  • Consignment of the Corroborative Evidence to the Flames
  • Engrossment of the Year’s Efforts
  • Meditation on the Year’s Efforts, followed by a Silent Toast
  • Engrossment of the Proposed Efforts for the Next Year
  • Toast to the Proposed Efforts
  • “What is Art?”

So, besides food and drink, plan to bring a list of the creative endeavors you either abandoned or tabled this year, as well as a list of your goals for 2008. I’m thinking we’ll just start this year with a list of our Efforts, each of us gets a page to himself, and then for next year’s Proposed Efforts, we’ll start a new page on which we’ll tally the results at next year’s Annual Meeting.

Also, if you have some Corroborative Evidence of creative effort that perhaps should have been abandoned rather than being brought to fruition, feel free to bring it along. I have a wonderful example, and it’s not what some of you are thinking, so we’re covered for that part of the Meeting.

Discuss.

12/16/07, inserted Appointment of Officers

12/16/07, inserted the Corroboration portions, plus the perennial discussion topic, “What Is Art?”

Lichtenbergian Charter: Article III – Meetings

Posted on by Dale

ARTICLE III

Section 1, Regular meetings of the SOCIETY shall be through its regular incorporeal Correspondence, whenever such topics as engage the interest of its Members shall arise.

Section 2, The Annual Meeting of the SOCIETY shall take place on or before the day of the Hibernal Solstice. It shall be an occasion of solemn FESTIVITY, allowing the Members the opportunity to reflect on the State of Lichtenbergianism.

Section 3, Special Meetings may be proposed any Member for any occasion.

Section 4, Notice of any Meetings shall be by the SOCIETY’s accustomed incorporeal Correspondence.

Discuss.

  • Section 2 amended 12/15/07 to include “the day of,” since technically this year, the actual Solstice is at 1:08 a.m. Saturday morning; we would have been in violation of the Charter from the get-go.

Fulfilling Lichtenbergianism’s core principles

Posted on by Dale

The Lichtenbergian Society has been a godsend! Just when I thought I might force myself to work extremely hard on the songs for Day in the Moonlight so I could in all honesty begin work on the symphony in January, along comes the Society, and above all, its Charter!

Since it’s been well-documented that I’m a font freak, no one will be surprised that I took it as an excuse to buy the Declaration font from P22. This is a replica of the writing in the Declaration of Independence, and it’s the first time I’ve ever bought a really professional set of fonts. It has not one but four complete fonts, plus a fifth one that consists, and how marvelously useless is this?, of nothing but the actual signers’ signatures. Need my John Hancock? That’s a capital A.

What are the other four fonts? One’s the basic Declaration font, then a separate set of alternate letter configurations, then a complete set of the blackletter used in the title and other places (think Old English), and then finally a set of the most common variations of letters and ligatures seen in the document.

What this means is that it’s not enough to type out the Charter in Helvetica and then convert it to Declaration Script, you also have to step back and look hard at the aesthetics of the thing. My first pass revealed a lot of horizontal lines running across the lines: the lower case t’s crossbar is a long and mighty thing, but too many of them and it looks like your printer has issues. The very word procrastination has a line running across half the word.

Not to worry; there are this many t’s in the complete font:

Yes, there’s even an alternate The for the beginning of a sentence, typed with the capital T in the Sorts font. So you make aesthetic choices about which t to use where in order to break up all those distracting lines. Part of it is remembering that the Declaration was not typeset but engrossed by a scribe on parchment; it’s handwriting, after all.

See what I mean about this being a Lichtenbergianismist’s wet dream? Seeking out all the medial s’s and replacing them with the long s; seeking out all the initial th’s and replacing them with the ligature, as well as the tt’s, the st’s, the ll’s, the rr’s , ff’s, wh’s, etc., etc., etc. And terminal consonants at the end of a sentence: is there a swash alternate? Capitals, same thing. Where will Blackletter make a statement?

Whee!

Later: Mike Funt emails me not one but two successive approximations of the seal. I’m posting the second one for your marvelment:

Lichtenbergian Charter: Article II – Membership

Posted on by Dale

Article II

Section 1, Charter membership shall consist of those members who have written the Charter and/or those who attend the first Annual Meeting, also to be known as the Charter Meeting, on December 22, 2007.

Section 1 Section 2—New members may only join when asked by current members, as actively seeking membership forfeits the SOCIETY’s principle belief in procrastination. Current members may invite new members to join whenever they get around to it.

Section 2 Section 3—Membership dues are to be $20 per year, payable by the first week of every year. However, “I’ll get you next month” is perfectly acceptable in lieu of payment.

Section 4, Members are expected, at some point prior to or following their addition to the rolls, to submit a creative work. In the spirit of the namesake of the SOCIETY, it is not required (or even, in fact, encouraged) that said work be either complete or successful.

Section 5, The duty and the right to define, for the betterment of all Mankind, the meaning of Lichtenbergianism is restricted to the Members of the SOCIETY.

  • Proposed 12/12/07, CM Mike Funt
  • Section 1 inserted 12/12/07, CM Dale Lyles
  • Section 4 added 12/13/07, CM Kevin McInturff
  • Section 5 added 12/14/07, CM Dale Lyles

Lichtenbergian business

Posted on by Dale

Besides writing our Charter, we have one other order of business.

Charter Member Jeff Bishop has suggested in other comments that we band together to donate to the ACE children’s toy drive, which is not doing so well this year. Jeff has nominated me ad hoc de facto treasurer for this opportunity, going so far as to not procrastinate and hand over money to me yesterday.

I’d like to make the donation no later than Monday, so if you’re in, bring me some money by this weekend. If you write a check, make it out to me. If you’re mailing a check, email me and let me know the amount and I’ll go ahead and include it.

Our total contribution so far is $60 $85 $105 $130 $155.

Today’s Writer’s Almanac had a reference to a bit of Lichtenbergian poetry, James Wright’s “Lying in a Hammock at William Duffy’s Farm in Pine Island, Minnesota.” You should read it.

The Lichtenbergian Society (Article I)

Posted on by Dale

I propose for the betterment of our SELVES, if not of ALL MANKIND, that we should form THE LICHTENBERGIAN SOCIETY.

We already have the stationery, the seal, and a motto, so now all we have to do is write our bylaws.

The motto, by the way, was developed in consultation with Drew Lasater, the GHP Latin Teacher Extraordinaire.

It is:

Cras melior est.

This means: Tomorrow is better.

Here it is in our seal:

Now, as for our BYLAWS, I have secured a sample nonprofit bylaws which we can use as a model. You may download the PDF file yourself to peruse it.

I’ll begin with ARTICLE I.

ARTICLE I

Section 1 , The Name of the SOCIETY shall be THE LICHTENBERGIAN SOCIETY.

Section 2 , The Purpose of this SOCIETY shall be the promulgation and promotion of Lichtenbergianism, to wit:

  • WHEREAS the German philosopher and scientist, GEORG CHRISTOPH LICHTENBERG, was renowned in his day for incorrigible procrastination, such that his further renown was hampered, and
  • WHEREAS the CHARTER MEMBERS of this SOCIETY are desirous of supporting each other’s efforts at procastinating in their own endeavors which might in fact result in further renown, insofar as is possible,
  • THEREFORE, we the undersigned do pledge and swear to further the renown of GEORG CHRISTOPH LICHTENBERG by putting off whatever we can in such a way as to be in solidarity with our fellow Lichtebergians.

Section 3 , The Motto of this SOCIETY shall be Cras melior est, which is to say, Tomorrow is better.

Section 4 , From time to time, as it shall seem necessary and appropriate to the Membership, and particularly in the period preceding the Annual Meeting, the Society shall make charitable donations such that, if not for themselves then perhaps for some few others of Mankind, Tomorrow should be Better.

Discuss. Add. Edit. Make it more mellifluous.

  • ARTICLE I proposed 12/12/07, CM Dale Lyles
  • Section 4 added 12/13/ 07, CM Dale Lyles

Tom[my Lee] Jones (Mike Funt)

Posted on by Dale

 

The History of Tommy Lee Jones

 

An Actor

 

Book III

 

Containing the Most Noble Scenes Which Transpired at the Institution of Higher Learning Known as Harvard University, from the Time When Tommy Jones Arrived at the Age of Eighteen, Till He Attained the Age of Twenty-Two. In This Book the Reader May Pick up Some Hints Concerning the Education of Young Men.

 

Chapter One

 

A Young Man From Tennessee Presents the Heroe with Strange Omens for the Future of Life on Earth

At this point it is prudent, if not necessary, to remind the reader that from the onset of this history the author has stated that no information would be imparted that is in any way false or fantasy, at least, to the best of the author’s knowledge of the events that passed. It is imperative to bear this crucial fact in mind, Dear Reader, as we follow our hero through the subsequent events of his youth, as pages that follow will seem an invention of a very creative author’s imagination. Though the thought will enter your mind, my dear reader, I remind you perish it, for everything you stand to encounter is as authentic as the words on this page.

Having arrived on the revered campus, an outsider from a minuscule, inconsequential village in Texas, our hero found himself very much alone. He stood there encumbered by boxes, duffels, and other accoutrement that a young man residing away from home for the first time may consider essential to life, and found himself standing just outside the dorm room to which he had been assigned, not quite sure how he had even gotten there. Dropping everything necessary to reach into his pocket, he retrieved a dingy old key and inserted it into the lock of the door marked B-12.

As the door creaked open, young Tommy was surprised to find, not only the lights already on, but another young man, his age, lying across the small bed to Tommy’s left. Upon seeing the door open, the young man on the bed stood, dropping the book he had been reading. He was of an impressive height and muscular build, but knowing that our hero is of more than average height and build himself, the reader will not will not be surprised to learn that this was not the first peculiarity of which Tommy took note. He glanced down at the bed to the book that the young man had dropped when he stood: Global Warming, An Ever-Growing Threat.

“I guess we’re going to be roommates,” said the tall young man. His voice was deep and stilted, but his drawl was unmistakably Southern, which put Tommy at ease straight away…