The big thing

Last night, after a particularly adventurous night in the labyrinth, I was reading while waiting for my stomach to calm down. After someone on Facebook quoted the last two lines of Romeo and Juliet a couple of weeks ago, I had dug out my copy of the script of The Life and Adventures of Nicholas Nickleby, the gargantuan theatre project staged by the Royal Shakespeare Company back in the 80s. My purpose was to snag the last two lines of the Vincent Crummles’ Acting Troupe edition of R&J, since they so notably and hilariously allow the main characters to live.

But then I kept the book out as bathroom reading material. Fun to read, fun to remember the PBS broadcast of the event, and familiar. Last night I finished up the last of the book, and of course burst into tears. That didn’t do my stomach or nasal passages any favors, but let that pass.

What’s the deal? Why does this script (and the memory of its performance) affect me so? Because it does affect me, every time I read it, see it, or think about it. Well, first of all, of course, there’s Smike. David Threlfall’s performance is one of the triumphs of theatre art, and no one can be unaffected by the pathos of the character. (Yes, I know Wilde’s assessment of Dickens’ pathos: “One must have a heart of stone to read the death of Little Nell without laughing.”)

But then I got to the very end of the show, and burst out crying again. Yes, there is the emotion of the ending (everyone happy, singing “God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen,” tableau, shivering outcast down center, Nicholas breaks out of his comfortable warmth to pick up the waif), but for me there is something bigger going on, and that is the show itself. It’s an enormous artifact: seven and a half hours of performance, some thirty actors playing more than a hundred characters, a complete rendition of a Dickens novel, a metatheatrical work of dazzling energy, developed from scratch by the RSC.

That’s the lure for me: this was a group project from the very first. The RSC needed something to keep the company going at the time, something that would keep everyone employed but not cost too much to stage. Nicholas Nickleby was their decision. I was there, actually. Christmas of 1979, Ginny and I went to London with our inestimable costume professor Dr. Jackson Kesler. Part of the obligatory trip to Stratford included (besides yet another autumnal rendition of Twelfth Night) a tour of the facility. When we got to the rehearsal rooms, I was struck by the enormous amount of material about Victorian London taped to the walls. Odd, I thought, I wonder what they’re up to? They were up to Nicholas Nickleby.

I want that. Perhaps this is one of my regrets before dying, that I would have loved to have been a part of something that huge, that dedicated, that crazy. I’m under no illusions about the perils of such ventures; in fact, there’s an entire book on how the RSC did it, and it wasn’t pretty or comfortable. But it was exhilarating, and I want that.

Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings affects me the same way. Heaven knows I despise the act of movie-making as one of the most boring of livelihoods (www.flyboyfilms.tv notwithstanding). But LoTR overwhelmed me with its quiddity, its reity. The whole earth-moving, earth-creating (literally) aspect of the movie made me want to be a part of that. I will be the first to say that the movies are fundamentally flawed in their execution, but that does not obviate the amazing fact that they exist. They were created, and on a scale that mocks me.

I had hopes a couple of years ago that William Blake’s Inn was going to be that kind of venture for us, because certainly the “cardboard and hot glue” workshops we did for the preview were like peepholes into that vast darkness, and I was excited by that. But WBI went nowhere.

Practicality. I don’t have time. The forty other people I want to drag into the abyss with me don’t have time.

Something to ponder.

Composing myself

I’ve been working—I really have—on Prelude (no fugue) No. 5, and I’m making progress. My problem is finding the time. You would think that since I have no evening commitments on the calendar, this week would have been a good time to dig in and figure out how to make it work.

Sadly, no.

By the time I get supper made, get supper eaten, and touch base with my lovely first wife, it is deep into the evening. I am lucky to get even an hour of time in my study, and since it takes me 20 minutes to disentangle my brain from everything but what’s in front of it, that’s not a lot of time before my body is saying that it’s time to call it quits for another day.

I have made progress. It was solid and was saying essentially what I wanted it to say, but last night I took a crowbar to it and broke it open, and suddenly it threatened to veer out of control , and that’s a good thing. So now I’m faced with continuing that energy into the middle and end of the piece. Will I have time to do that?

This weekend, of course, is given over to relaxing, although I may have time on Sunday to squeeze in a few notes. Next week I have to revamp the GHP parent video, so there’s limited time there. Plus it’s my lovely first wife’s birthday, which is always festive.

It makes me wonder whether I’m going to get a cello sonata written by October.

Regrets of the dying

Today on Facebook, this link was flying around. I went to read it, thinking it might be thought-provoking, and it was, even if not in the way most people might respond to it.

First of all, let me state that Ms. Ware is quite right in her observations. I have no issue with her list nor her explications. However, I wanted more from her list when I went there. I have worked my whole life not to be one of the mass of men living lives of quiet desperation, and I think I have completely and successfully escaped Ms. Ware’s list. Whatever else happens, I will not look back on my life with those regrets.

So if I expected more, what was it I hoped to find? What will I feel compelled to tell my hospice worker?

I think my biggest regret at the moment is my laziness in getting my work done. Notice that’s not the same as Keat’s “fears that I may cease to be/ Before my pen has glean’d my teeming brain.” I’m quite at rest with the idea that I may never get around to everything I might have done. The Symphony may never be written, the Epic Lichtenbergian Portrait may never be completed, and I certainly am not on track to get grass to flourish in the labyrinth. (At the advice of a Home Depot gardening employee, I have fertilized the bare dirt.)

My regret is that I will not have finished things I might have finished because I just didn’t take the time to get them done. Why am I writing this instead of working on Piano Prelude (no fugue) No. 5? As every good Lichtenbergian could tell you, I am writing this so that I don’t have to confront the Piano Prelude. Or the cello sonata. Or the Ayshire Fiddle Orchestra piece. Or the color charts for my painting. Or any of the exercises in Keys to Drawing.

(To assuage my future guilt, I just now went and added two notes to the prelude. I can goof off another 48 hours now.)

Any regrets I might have had, i.e., based on who I was even five years ago, are invalid. Those who have known me for a while might think I would have regrets about my organizational successes and failures: NCTC, GHP, Newnan Crossing, Lacuna/William Blake. But no. Those things come and go in any person’s life, and it’s just simple wisdom not to base your idea of a well-lived life on achievements—or not—in those arenas.

I will say that if I come to the end of my life and I’ve never seen/heard William Blake’s Inn performed, I will be disappointed, but that’s not a regret since I have no real control of whether that happens or not.

What else? I’m not a deep thinker, so I may have to settle for this one regret. I think it is a worthwhile one. Let’s see if I can be worthy of it.

ATC: next round

I sent out Kevin’s ATC in the mail this morning, and since I got Mike’s this afternoon, I can send out the next ones tomorrow. More about who our next artists are tomorrow perhaps.

The return of the ATC

The first victim artist has returned his Artist Trading Cards. The game is afoot.

Kevin was the first to get his back to me. Mike is being all creative and important and reviewed in major websites out on the other coast, so he’s not gotten around to his yet.

Normally, I think, I’m not going to post everyone’s. If I did, then the next person to receive them wouldn’t get the nice surprise , assuming, as I do, of course, that all the victims artists are regular readers of this blog. It also occurs to me that it might be nice to have something out of the reach of the ubiquitous web. But just this once, I’ll show you what Kevin sent me:

The second is from a series Kevin took in the labyrinth one night. He should probably post those on the Lichtenbergian site or even on Flickr or something, because they are very very nice.

Anyway, according to the rules, I will now send one of these along to the next victim artist (OK, I’ll stop doing that now) along with one of mine, probably one of the “R is for Reproduction” series. Watch your mailbox.

In other news, those who follow the career of the curse on my music will be amused , and I daresay impressed , by this. I think I’ve mentioned that my friend Stephen Czarkowski has asked me to write a cello sonata for his use in a series of concerts across the embassy circuit in D.C. He shared that it might get reviewed by the Washington Times, since apparently they really like him for some reason right now. Great, I thought, reviews by the crazy newspaper. I needn’t have worried. I’m a little concerned about our relations on Embassy Row, however.

Five tails

Recently on Facebook I posted three “rules” for anyone wishing to discuss the “controversy” over the Park51 project, popularly but erroneously known as the World Trade Center Mosque.

The first and most basic rule was “It’s not a mosque.” And it’s not. It’s a community center, both a YMCA, if you will, and an interfaith study center.

The results were gratifying: many people cheered on my bluntness, while my right wing friends tied themselves into knots trying to continue their outrage. Again and again I would reject their “but it’s a controversy!!!!1!” with “It’s not a mosque.” Like moths to the flame, however, they could not stop themselves from arguing from the premise that someone was building a triumphalist mosque on sacred ground. Sorry, it’s not a mosque.

“But why does even the liberal media call it a mosque?” they cried. The short answer is that someone went into the monkey house (Pam Geller, I’m looking at you) and made a face, and now the monkeys are hooting and flinging poo.

However, before I used that metaphor, I referred us all to Lincoln’s little riddle: “How many legs does a dog have if you call its tail a leg?” One of my right wing friends, who is not unread, wittily replied, “Five tails,” knowing that the correct answer is, “Four. Calling a tail a leg does not make it one.”

So now I have a really great shorthand for labeling that crowd’s specious and poo-flinging debate style: the “five tails crowd.” Even when shown the stone cold facts, they will continue to shriek their misinterpretation, and in fact go even further afield in their outrage. “If it’s not a mosque, why is everyone defending their First Amendment rights/???>?”

Honey, please.

Labyrinth, 8/15/10

I worked yesterday and today in the labyrinth. I was extremely productive.

The neighbors finally had the pecan tree taken down. Not taken away, mind you. It’s still in large chunks right on the other side of the fence, plus the 20-foot stump along with this substantial hawser which has been abandoned by the tree people. What happened? Disaster in the business? Non-payment? (but why leave the rope?) My father-in-law has given me his chain saw, and once it’s out of the shop (where it’s getting a look-over), I may just start to work on a huge amount of firewood.

Which brings me to my major project of yesterday/today. With the pecan tree down, I finally felt comfortable putting up the rest of the bamboo fencing. Needless to say, the one remaining roll I had on hand was not enough to complete the job. That’s fine. I can order one more roll some time later. It’s not as anyone is actually living in the house there, and any peeping toms about would have a job negotiating the huge tree bits littering the yard in the dark.

The fencing I did put up looks nice:

The gap is a gate, and you’ll notice the old woodpile in a pile in front of that. I had a whole new truckload delivered this past week, and so I had to move it all. I’ve decided to move the whole thing down to the fire pit level.

Now you might think that moving a woodpile is simple enough: pick up the wood, walk it over to the new place, and put it down. Sadly, no. First I had to design a woodpile. I chose to go semi-industrial, with corrugated metal base and rebar sides:

Then I had to add some ropes and copper pipes to secure the top ends. Finally I could tote all the wood over. I also decided I wanted a tarp to keep the wood dry. As fate would have it, I found a perfectly sized one, and it even had grommets every 24 inches around it. Perfect:

And if I had thought of these things, they would not have existed. But they do:

Zippers! Isn’t that the coolest? They tape down, then you unzip them and cut them. I especially like how they have zipper pulls on both sides. In case you’re trapped inside the woodpile.

Zippers installed!

And here’s my magnificent woodpile, sans tarp:

I think it’s gorgeous. The rebar works even better than I thought in holding the wood in place, and I’m excited about the corrugated metal holding the wood off the ground. I’m hoping it will help keep the ant/termite thing down.

And finally, the mise en scène:

It looks perfect, but alas, the grommets are too small to go over the rebar. I shall have to go get some grommets at Michael’s and install them myself. Later.

Holy crap!

I’ve just been coasting along these past few weeks, neither composing nor drawing/painting. There have been all kinds of mitigating circumstances which I won’t go into here, but it’s been a very slack period.

Then this morning, I suddenly realized, holy crap, I have to write two more piano preludes to finish out the set , and I have a cello sonata of 12-15 minutes due by October. Holy crap.

In other news, it has not escaped my notice that the two recipients of the Artist Trading Cards have not returned theirs to me.