New Year’s Day

I have only one resolution of any import, and I’ll get to that in a moment. In the meantime, I was very unsocial last night, turning down a couple of very kind invitations and issuing none of my own. This is what I did while waiting for the New Year:

One of my Lichtenbergian goals last year, and the only one repeated for this year, is to start painting again. I say again as if my cessation were a recent event, but it has been years since I used any of my art supplies. And the last time I did “art,” rather than costume or set designs, has to be nearly 30 years ago.

So I dragged out all my stuff and got to work. I have in mind for the coming year a couple of series, and I’m thinking about just painting a plain coffee mug over and over until I have control of the media again. For last night, I decided just to play with color and brush and surface, just to get back in my fingers how the stuff works. (My medium at the moment is gouache, a kind of thick tempera, also known as designer’s colors.) I also had another agenda, but that remains secret for the moment.

It’s interesting to me how much some of the stuff looks like what I was producing in high school. This is not a good thing, of course, but maybe I can catch up with the rest of my life as I go along. It was fun to do, and I have enough art supplies to last for a lot of exploration (vide infra).

It has not escaped my notice, either, how mutually incompatible my composing and my painting are, not only in time, but also in space. Both require me to cover a sizable surface, and in my case it’s the same surface: my drafting table. Oh well, let one be a distraction for the other, I say.

I normally do not bother with New Year’s resolutions. They have always implied that you spent at least part of the past year in some kind of existentialist bad faith, from which you awaken somewhere around Christmas and, in a fit of newfound self-awareness, make decisions about how you are going to change. More bad faith, as far as I’m concerned.

Still, a couple of days ago I decided to try an experiment, which we will call a resolution. I think I was getting dressed, and I began to pay attention to my shirts. Over the holidays, I’ve worn essentially t-shirts and henleys or sweaters, so all of my shirts are clean and hanging up. There’s an enormous number of them. I have, and I’m going to allow myself enough bad faith not to go count them, over 30. I can take a dozen shirts to the cleaners and not break a sweat about having something to wear to work for a week or even two, any season of the year.

Likewise, I have enough Christmas ties to start at Thanksgiving and wear one a day until school is out without repeating myself. And that’s just a subset of my total tie collection.

Books? Just the unread ones by my bed would probably carry me through the rest of the year. Working my way around the house, I could catalog for you the surplus materiel available to me in any area of my life.

So that’s when I decided to try an experiment: how long can I go without buying anything?

I don’t need anything, as evidenced by the very short tour of possessions above. By any standard on this planet, I am comfortable beyond the imagination of most of the six billion people who live here. I certainly have spent a great deal on the labyrinth, all of it on my credit card, and I need to exercise restraint in order to pay that off in a timely manner. And I think it will probably be salutary to force myself to confront every desire that would normally have me reaching for the 1-Click button at Amazon.

Clearly, I am talking about discretionary spending here. Yes, I will continue to buy groceries and pay my bills (which I ought to be doing right now instead of philosophizing here). I will maintain the car and the house, etc., etc., etc. But books, music, software, art supplies, clothing, all those fun things that encrust my life, and quite honestly I enjoy, I won’t be buying any.

My goal is to see if I can make it to June. Stay tuned.

Labyrinth, 12/30/08

I finally got my drill press put together yesterday, and had a blast all afternoon drilling things.

My main goal was to get a little trio of lighting fixtures done. Here they are:

There’s a piece of rebar driven into the ground, and each of the paving stones has a hole drilled through its center. I have probably given myself lung cancer doing it. (I bought dust masks today.)

The white tubes are actually plastic tubes from my wide-format printer at school, i.e., the “poster printer.” It prints on 24″-wide rolls, and these are at the center. It dawned on me that a candle sitting inside one of these would light up the whole tube.

The tubes are sitting in pieces of wood, through which I have drilled enormous holes in the top half, and smaller holes in the bottoms to fit onto the rebar. The number of drill bits I have added to my collection is very impressive.

So now I have these three lights sitting in an attractive little grouping over in the ivy. I’ll test them tonight, and if they’re as lovely as I hope, I can make more.

Yesterday morning there was an enormous branch down off the pecan tree in the First Baptist parking lot. I retrieved it for firewood, but it was doing a nice zen number, so I dragged it out to the middle of the labyrinth for a while:

It is very marvelous at night, when light from the house hits it and it glows dimly white, its fractal probings of the darkness contrasting starkly with the geometry of the labyrinth paths. It reminds me of the White Tree of Minas Tirith, actually.

In the upper right of that photo, you can see what I did today for the most part: haul dirt down the driveway again and build up the northern sweep of the labyrinth. It’s a lot more level now, although you probably cannot tell from the photo. I have some dirt still left over; I may use it to shore up the northern end, or perhaps the western rim. Don’t know yet.

Also today, in the same vein as the light tubes, I built wooden holders for cans of Sterno. These will sit on the little plinths at the ends of the arms of the labyrinths and flame brightly. Until someone is scorched. I’d actually like to built the tower/columsn I’ve discussed previously, and put the flames on top of them. If I could be sure they wouldn’t be knocked against, spilling flaming Sterno on drunken and barefoot labyrintheers.

Musings

I don’t have a coherent post to offer today, just random thoughts.

I’ve been having a recurring dream for the past few days. It’s annoying and I can’t figure out why I’m fixating on this particular image. It involves the Union Jack and its components somehow: I am usually trying to explain the pieces, or assemble the pieces, or explain how to assemble the pieces, or something. I’m not clear on what’s going on, and I’m thinking the dream itself is not very linear.

Sometimes a little girl is involved (hush, Jeff), sometimes a large group (hush, Jobie). The overriding feeling is one of frustration, but since I don’t have any clear (waking) idea of what I’m trying to accomplish, I’m not sure what the frustration is about. It’s entirely possible that not knowing what I’m trying to do in the dream is the frustration.

The easy symbolism is that it’s a metaphor for my composing. I know what the pieces are and have some idea of how they go together, but I don’t know enough to actually assemble them. What the little girl has to do with it, I have no idea. It’s like Faulkner’s Little Sister Death that I mentioned the other night at the Lichtenbergian Annual Meeting: in the face of some college student’s question, he claimed not even to remember the character in The Sound and the Fury. (I think I placed her in Absalom, Absalom at the meeting, but I got the character Quentin Compson right.)

As for the Lichtenbergian Annual Meeting, let’s just say that I was the essential Lichtenbergian: of the seven goals that I had listed at last year’s meeting, I had accomplished not one. The ones I can remember are picking up painting again; completing the symphony; completing the songs for A Day in the Moonlight; writing a trio for piano, trombone and saxophone; and getting some pieces done for a couple of choral competitions. There were two more, but I can’t remember even what they are.

I put off working on Moonlight to work on the symphony. That was scuttled when Czarkowski decided not to return to GHP. I didn’t have time during the summer to work on the trio, and no drive to work on the choral works, and then everything was subordinated to the labyrinth. So there you go.

All the non-Lichtenbergians in my life ask if I just rolled them all over to next year, and the answer is, of course, no. I’m pulling back in a lot of ways. Fewer goals, smaller goals, baby steps. Who knows? Perhaps the symphony will come bursting out of me in January, but I’m not planning for it.

Labyrinth, 12/14/08, afternoon

It is finished.

Notice the holiday votives. I think they’ll be right purty.

Here’s a closeup of the center:

I’ve sunk the bricks into the soil and dug out a little bit of a hole to give the effect.

So, at some point I have to plant grass seed. I’m going to wait until after the rain this week just to see where the water flow issues are.

Tomorrow night I don’t have Masterworks, the dress rehearsal for Thursday’s concert is on Tuesday, so I’ll put together my drill press, finally, and work on some lighting fixtures for the area.

Labyrinth, 12/14/08, morning

At 11:35 this morning, to the strains of the second movement of Mahler’s Symphony No. 2, “Resurrection,” I finished filling in the labyrinth:

I have this much dirt left:

I think I was oversold. However, after lunch I will lay in dirt around the labyrinth so that it actually is part of the landscape rather than rising abruptly from it, and as I’ve mentioned before, shore up the carport. That ought to take the rest of the afternoon.

Labyrinth, 12/14/08, dawn

Here, by dawn’s light, is yesterday’s work:

And here, from the side angle, you can see the northern edge finally complete. I will have to add more dirt around the edges to keep it from collapsing in the rain this week. It feels odd to have it done.

I’m now waiting until 9:00, the time at which I in good conscience can start throwing dirt into the wheelbarrow outside my neighbor’s bedroom window.

There is a distinct possibility that I have too much dirt. The only problem with that is what to do with it to get it out of the driveway today a) so Ginny can park there, and b) it doesn’t turn into mud with the rain predicted for tomorrow. I need to build up the ground next to the carport, so I can probably use all of it there, and the northern edge of the labyrinth can stand a lot more, so I may be OK in terms of having a place to put all of it.

Labyrinth, 12/13/08, afternoon

No pictures, because it was too dark when I finished, and the camera’s battery died.

However, I accomplished exactly my goal for the day: fill in the outer three circuits, raise the outer circuit on the north side to the level of the others, and lay out the final course of paving stones.

It’s done. Tomorrow, I fill in the inner four circuits and set the compass point bricks level in the ground with the granite center.

Labyrinth, 12/13/08, morning

Yesterday afternoon I picked up the granite pieces that form the center of the labyrinth:

After I get all the topsoil laid in, I’ll sink the bricks to the same level as the granite. (The bricks are aligned with the cardinal points of the compass.)

I love the way it reflects the sky. Later I will scoop out a hole in the center, and next summer I will make a bowl to fit in there. It will probably be blue. I like the way the bricks will hang out a little over the bowl (although I haven’t yet thought of a way to make the grooves for the bricks to fit into the bowl, accurate from 225 miles away.)

Here it is in situ:

And finally, this morning, the topsoil was delivered. We ended up dumping it in the driveway:

I began schlepping it to the back yard, after I took a few moments to construct a ramp to get the wheelbarrow down the steps to the level of the labyrinth. It’s lunchtime at the moment, and this is how much I’ve gotten done so far:

I got dirt laid out in the little center gap area, and then started with the path. I’ve done the first circuit, and this afternoon I will start pushing out from there. My goal for today is to get the outer two circuits done, which includes building up the north edge and actually getting the last course of stones laid. I might get some of the central circuits done, but I’m not making that the goal.

In any case, I should be done by Sunday evening.