Yes, it’s true, I have written a book.
The title is Lichtenbergianism: procrastination as a creative strategy, and yes I have a macro that types that out for me. I was a little startled a couple of weeks ago when I started checking the blank spots in the text I needed to fill in and found that there were none. I was, in essence, done.
Why haven’t you heard about this? You have if you also read my other blog, Lichtenbergianism.com, where I have tended to shunt all my whining about creative work. Even there, though, I haven’t really documented the travails of the process. It’s more of a marketing/social media tie-in for the book, the sales of which of course I expect to catapult me into the first ranks of Twitter like Austin Kleon and others. Too much whining is not customer-friendly.
So why can’t you give me money this very moment? Several reasons, and here you get to read me whine because THIS IS MY BLOG, KENNETH.
√ 1. I invited my fellow Lichtenbergians to proof and kibbitz the text along with a select few others. Their input has been valuable, so thank you, guys!
√ 2. That necessitated—as it should—corrections and emendations of the text, and I’m about done with that. I have two or three more sticky notes on my monitor to do, and then it’s on to…
3. I have to export the text from Scrivener, the most excellent authoring tool from Literature & Latte. (If you are writing anything of any length, go buy this software and before you do anything go through the entire tutorial. Pro tip: after the third time you’re thinking there must be an easier way to accomplish something in the program, take the tutorial again.)
4. I have to edit that Word file, applying styles to paragraphs and terms so that I’ll have a slightly easier time of it when…
5. I import the text file into InDesign to lay out the book. I expect this to be an orgy of moaning and whining. I’ve done a little work already, but I’m not really happy about any of it. For one thing, the font I thought I was using for the main text doesn’t really work for me, so I switched to a simply sans serif font, and now I can’t find a contrasting font for headings and quotes that I like. Ugh.
5a. I have to go back and make sure that all the images I’m using are at least 300 dpi for publishing purposes.
6. I have to design the cover. Again, I’ve done some work but hate all of it. (My placeholder design, which I’ve used as an image in several posts, doesn’t even have my name on it.)
7. I have to export all of that above and send it to my estimable publisher, fellow Lichtenbergian Jeff Bishop at Boll Weevil Press, where he will publish it via our Lichtenbergian Press imprint.
Then you can give me money. Two weeks, maybe?
 Aren’t you glad I didn’t write “haven’t logged my slog”? You’re welcome.
 Jeff’s most recent book, Agatahi, is a marvel: the Cherokee Removal, aka The Trail of Tears, told via first-person accounts of the Cherokees themselves. Go buy it. It is profoundly moving.