I know how the nation feels about secession, but is there any reason we can’t just expel Texas?

I was behind a pickup truck this morning with a bumper sticker that floored me:

If you must burn our flag,
please wrap yourself in it first.

What is wrong with you people?

This was a brand new bumper sticker, not an old, faded tatty one. The W04 sticker was old and tatty, and I noticed a decided absence of any McCain/Palin stickers, but the brave stand the person in the truck was taking against the damned commie hippies was fresh on his mind, and apparently, fresh from someone’s emporium.

Much has been made of the resurgence of this mindset amongst the right since the election of President Obama, who is naturally going to take our guns away as well as, presumably, our white women, but to actually encounter it first thing in the morning was a bit much.

Since the teabaggers have scheduled tomorrow’s tea party for noon, and I have to work, I submit herewith my poster for the event:

What are you sniggering at? I bet I got it right.

I am pleased to report that at least one part of the Ginormous Liberal Conspiracy has succeeded, apparently. I am referring to the National Organization for Marriage’s recent announcement of “an ambitious new nationwide ‘2 Million for Marriage’ initiative” to combat the horrors of Iowa and Vermont’s approval of gay marriage.

What NOM failed to realize was that our mole was luring them into a trap. Their new initiative is shortened, of course, to… wait for it… 2M4M.

Merciful heavens, people, anyone who has spent any amount of time on AOL or other chat areas knows that M4M is chatroom shorthand for “male for male,” i.e., gay sex chat. The only explanation I can think of for NOM’s epic fail is that there must in fact be a gay mole in the organization who set them up.

Which does not displease me in the least, of course.

update

In a further round of NOMian ineptitudiness, the domain name 2M4M.org has already been snapped up and, um, repurposed. It seems as if the hilarity will not stop any time soon.

further update

This has appeared on YouTube. Why, oh why, are liberal parodists so mean? Oh, that’s right, their subjects are so stupid:

from Kung Fu Monkey:

There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.

Har. (This is in reference to the recent spate of rightwing chickengalts, of course.)

Let’s check the Times-Herald‘s Sound Off and see what we find, shall we? Oh look, conservative wingnuts!

What exactly has President Obama done that he said he was going to do? Nothing. Then again, we Republicans new [sic] that before the election.

Hm. Direct military leaders to end war in Iraq? Check. Expand SCHIP eligibility? Check. Increase funding for the NEA? Check. Lift stem cell research restrictions? Check. Close Guantanamo? Check. Overturn Ledbetter vs. Goodyear? Check. Etc. etc. Not bad for six weeks, actually.

Why do you say the people need government right now? The problem is that we have had too much government for the past eight years. Government jobs need to be cut and government spending stopped.

Yet this person would have called me a communist if I had suggested cutting government spending in Iraq over the last six years.

I own a successful business, pay taxes, pay my mortgage and pay all my other bills. I try to save as much money as possible. I bought a new automobile to help the auto companies. Don’t try to tell me I am to blame for the sorry state of affairs.

No one’s blaming you for the sorry state of affairs. Unless, of course, you’re the inventor of complex derivatives.

I, too, hope Obama fails in strangling our republic with socialism.

“Socialism” is not we call what Obama is doing. Nor would actual socialism strangle a republic. You can check with Sweden on that one.

What a furor there was over Richard Nixon’s enemies list. Now we have President Obama and his enemies list headed by Rush Limbaugh. I’d better not hold my breath waiting for the furor over Obama’s list.

Probably you shouldn’t, because it doesn’t exist. Nixon’s list was an actual on-paper list, and those enemies were spied on by the FBI, careers checked at any possible opportunity. Obama of course has no such list. No one’s even suggested that Limbaugh is an “enemy,” except of course for the Republican spokesman himself. But then that’s just good for business.

To Lynn Westmoreland: Thank you for voting no and being a good steward of our money.

Vid. sup., re: Iraq War. Also, I hope Mr. Westmoreland has publicly refused any of the stimulus money for our district. On principle, of course.

One’s jaw just has to drop when these things show up in our public discourse. They’re so disconnected from the reality-based community that there’s no way to approach them. All you can do is wave at them as their little parade passes by.

Joe “The Plumber” Wurzelbacher is a dancing monkey.

That is all.

All right, people, screw bipartisanship. Working with your ideological opposites is not a Good. It’s just a nice idea. And since I cannot say it better than Jamison Foser over at Media Matters, I will simply quote him:

Sure, people want the politicians to stop bickering and get things done. But, more specifically, most people want the politicians to stop bickering and do things they want done. A single mother working two minimum-wage jobs to feed her kids might want politicians to come together in a spirit of bipartisanship — but she doesn’t want them to pass bipartisan legislation lowering the minimum wage; she wants a bipartisan bill raising the minimum wage. If she can’t have that, I suspect she’d take a party-line minimum-wage increase, even if it means a decrease in the bonhomie at Washington cocktail parties she’ll never attend.

That is all.