Pity the poor rich.

The MAGAt crowd wants you to be as outraged as they are about taxing rich people’s New York pied-à-terres or private jets, so let’s take a look at their outrage.

If you ask them why the very very rich shouldn’t contribute to the well-being of the entire society by being taxed on their excess — and yes, dears, it is excess wealth — then their argument goes something like:

Rich people earned that wealth.

Ergo, they deserve that wealth. (And deserve to keep every penny of it.)

And then the trap:

Conversely, poor people haven’t earned that private jet.

Ergo, they do not deserve it.

Whatever they don’t have, they do not deserve it because they have not earned it.

Without meaning to, the MAGAts have admitted that they view their fellow humans as sorted into deserving and undeserving of… whatever it is that money can provide.

Food.

Shelter.

Clothing.

Family.

Education.

Healthcare.

Simple pleasures.

Life.

The same people who buy the store-brand mac-n-cheese and watch the checkout lady like a hawk do not think that people who are worse off than they are deserve anything they haven’t earned.

The same people who are, by chance, conservative Christianists, will gladly ring your doorbell and bore you to tears with how none of us deserve divine grace. But you — you over there on food stamps? Sucks to be you.

This mindset is poisonous. It guarantees that whoever believes this has agreed that some human life is not worth as much as others. They believe at some level that some people — other people — are tainted, are contaminated, are less than… than whom, MAGAts?

Less.

Than.

Them.

The disgusting irony of their position is that they are currently whining that aMeRiCa iS tOo A ChRiStiAn NaTiOn KENNETH, and yet they will tear the house down if anyone suggests that the government of a Christian Nation might want to think about feeding the hungry, comforting the oppressed, etc., etc., as someone once said. You would think they’d care.

But they don’t.

Odd, that.

see also: Bes

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In the new Good Omens season 3, Heaven is gearing up for the Second Coming, the End of All Things, and they’ve engineered the reincarnation of Jesus. This beautiful boy is completely guileless and after two millennia away from reality is guided by his innate goodness. The scene where he begins feeding people from a pizza box — that we can clearly see has only one piece of pizza when he starts — brought me to tears. Yet MAGAts will say, “Nope, nope, none of that. When does he start smiting the unbelievers and throwing them into Hell for eternal torment? That’s what they deserve.”

Also, script team, I have a thrillingly better idea for the climactic event scene in the bookshop. Call me. (Why are you panicking? It only requires a reshoot of about three minutes of script. It will be totally worth it.) (Interested parties may email me if they’d like to hear about it. It’s a major spoiler, though not really if you see how things are going.)

First, allow me to deeply apologize for not blogging our recent trip to Egypt. I intended to, but beyond the usual spotty wifi aboard a Viking River Cruise (otherwise flawless other than the lack of bitters at the bar), the trip was an absolute slog. Maybe I’ll share some details later. Maybe.

Second, I discovered a new presence for the labyrinth: Meet Bes, the Egyptian god of the household.

This jaunty little fellow is depicted with squat, bow legs; cat ears; protruding tongue; and, naturally, erect phallus.

From his Wikipedia post: Bes was the ancient Egyptian god who protected households, particularly mothers, children, and childbirth. He came to be regarded as the defender of everything good and the enemy of all that is bad, and since he drove off evil, Bes also came to symbolize the good things in life – music, dance, and sexual pleasure.

It occurred to me almost immediately that we need Bes, since we are now facing an overwhelming evil in our nation, and who better to bring along to defend us than the defender of everything good? And so…

I’m thinking I’m going to whip up some t-shirts and other merch over at my Lichtenbergian shop at CafePress, because nothing drives the theocrats crazier than people having fun and doing good right in front of them. As H.L. Mencken said, “Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”

The fact that it mocks the previous lame-ass “initiative” of one or more family members returning to our White House next week is icing on the deliciously snarky cake.

Stay tuned.

update: Ta-da! https://www.cafepress.com/shop/Lichtenbergianism