SCENE: THE OVAL OFFICE, OCTOBER 2015
[OBAMA sits behind the desk. It is squeaky clean. Various members of his administration — THE GANG — stand/sit around the room.]
[There is a very long silence. Very long. THE GANG fidgets slightly. OBAMA looks around, clearly bored. Finally, he sighs…]
OBAMA:
Guys, this is boring.
[THE GANG mumbles in agreement.]
Shouldn’t we be doing something?
XXX:
Sir, the election is in a couple of weeks. There’s not really any time to do anything. I mean, what did you have in mind?
OBAMA:
Well, I’m kind of worried about my legacy. I’ve had some pretty big stumbles in the last eight years.
XXX:
Yes sir, but look at all you did accomplish — the Affordable Care Act…
THE GANG:
[air quotes, gang signs, etc]
O-BA-MA-CAAAARE!
XXX:
<more accomplishments, shared by various members of THE GANG, ending with…>
XXX:
… and no one will ever forget the Iran Deal!
[THE GANG agrees, maybe a couple of high-fives.]
OBAMA:
Still… [gestures…]
[THE GANG mulls it over, a bit uncomfortably. Then:]
XXX:
Sure, sir, there have been some blunders, but at least you didn’t botch a pandemic!
XXX:
<more catastrophic blunders/scandals/etc, shared by various members of THE GANG, ending with…>
XXX:
…or start a war with Iran!
[EVERYONE laughs uproariously.]
OBAMA:
Boy, that would have been stupid.
[THE GANG agrees.]
OBAMA:
I guess there’s only one thing left to say:
ALL:
LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!
SNL Writers Room, I leave it to you to fill in the gaps. Have fun!