Merciful heavens. It’s time once again to rant here on my blog rather than on a Facebook friend’s post. This time, it’s not the friend who posted the insanity—it’s one of her associates. My friend was telling about being in the Rose Bowl Parade crowd while the skywriter was bashing Donald Trump over their heads.
Her point in posting was to note that everyone around her essentially agreed with the skywriter, which was enough for her squirrelly friends to pile on. One of the comments was as follows:
If Trump was in office…
#1 We’d have jobs back
#2 No more outsourcing
#3 Sanctions strengthened
#4 Veterans taken care of
#5 Hostages in Iran back
#6 The 1% will be taxed
#7 No teleprompter speeches
#8 No lobbyist & SuperPac control
#9 We would stop submitting to other countries that we give handout after handout to with nothing in return
#10 The border would work more efficiently & end a lot of modern day Mexican slavery
What floors me about these people is their seeming refusal to do any real thinking about their candidate or their country. Let’s look at the results, shall we?
If Trump was in office… Subjunctive voice, dearie. “If Trump were in office…” is your lead. Always use the subjunctive when the issue is contrary to actual reality.
We’d have jobs back. How, exactly? In what areas of the economy? Would the unemployment rate be lower than it is now? No details on this, because Trump hasn’t given us any. “All those jobs that got lost to Mexico, to China? I’ll bring them back.” Perhaps he’ll use his Ring of Power.
Sanctions strengthened. Against whom? And why? I imagine this commenter is talking about Iran, which is of a piece with the ideology of Trump supporters: why use a carrot when you can use a really big stick? It’s much better to hit the other guy instead of negotiating, right? It’s very important to these people that we be the biggest badass in the world.
Veterans taken care of. How, exactly? What would President Trump do that his predecessors haven’t? And how exactly would President Trump convince a Tea Party Congress to spend that money (since unfortunately most of his supporters are also going to vote for the most rabid, brain-damaged weasels on the down-ballot)? Other than that, great goal.
Hostages in Iran back. I had to stop and think what hostages this person is concerned about. Hostages? A quick websearch shows that there are four Americans imprisoned in Iran at the moment, and that the recent negotiations did not include the fate of these people. Naturally, the rabid weasel faction seized on this as evidence of the Obama administration’s fecklessness. Could it be that the main goal of the treaty was hard enough to get without loading it down with additional challenges, and that perhaps the prisoners’ fate is being dealt with by other ongoing negotiations? Nah, it’s because Obummer is a traitor—the only possible explanation. What Trump would do instead? Use his Ring of Power, I guess.
The 1% will be taxed. This is astonishing, because the rabid weasel faction usually will die on the hill of “less tax/smaller government,” but somehow the whole income inequality thing and how it contributes to the downward pressures on the income of the middle class appears to have made it into their brains. More power to them, but I’d suggest that they take a look at Bernie Sanders if they want to see that happen. (Although, again, they’ll vote for a Tea Party Congress and completely doom our government to a death spiral.)
No teleprompter speeches. Jebus on Melba Toast. What is it with the weasels and TelePrompter? Do they honestly believe that only weaklings (i.e., incapable of using Rings of Power to bully the world) use this handy device to keep their public address on track? Do they not understand that everyone on the teevee uses a TelePrompter? Do they honestly believe that Trump simply speaks from his heart (or other part of his anatomy)? And when he does, do they really think that’s the kind of thing we want to hear from our President? (Spoiler alert: yes. Yes they do.)
No lobbyist & SuperPac control. Cool story, bro. Actually, what are they talking about here? No outside money in the Donald’s campaign because he’s paying for it himself? Or no outside money influencing our legislation? If it’s the first, it clearly has not occurred to them that if he’s rich enough not to be beholden to special interests, he’s rich enough not to be beholden to the voters either. If it’s the latter, good luck with that. What’s he going to do, issue an executive order??? (Spoiler alert: it’s OK if the Fearless Leader does it. With his Ring of Power. Which that feckless Obummer is too weak to use.)
We would stop submitting to other countries that we give handout after handout to with nothing in return. Ah, “submission.” As if the U.S. has submitted to any other country in the last 100 years. “Handout.” You would think, listening to the weasels, that for some reason our country is shoveling your tax dollars right out the door to those ungrateful furriners. This of course has nothing to do with reality.
The border would work more efficiently & end a lot of modern day Mexican slavery. The commenter’s concern over the working conditions of our immigrant laborers is touching. Would they, I wonder, agree to laws which a) punish with jail time anyone who hires undocumented workers; and/or b) require the minimum wage to be paid to all such workers, and taxes collected from same? Because if we successfully drive the Brown Peril out of our country—with Rings of POWER!!—it’s going to be their children’s asses cleaning hotels and picking lettuce.
So here, in 1000 words, I have given more thought to the realities of the Trump candidacy and potential presidency than any of his supporters have. Have mercy.
Why didn’t I post any of this under the comment? Because none of the facts have any impact on weasels. They really do believe in the Green Lantern/Ring of Power theory of governance. Actual facts are trifling details which can be blown away with a blast from any Leader worthy enough to wield the Ring of Power. Trying to show them the details only makes them gnaw at the cage more ferociously.
BONUS: The millionaire who paid for the skywriting is also the owner of anybodybuttrump.us. Buttrump. Heh heh…