It is now that time of year with me that makes me very anxious: the week before I leave for GHP.
My anxiety is based largely on the idea that time is running out, that I have a limited number of days to “get things done.” A corollary anxiety is the idea that I have to make sure that I know what those “things” are that need to “get done.” A third anxiety is the fear that I will identify a “thing” that I cannot get done before I leave, like a doctor’s appointment or something like that.
I have to think about tidying up my presence here in Newnan, picking up stuff around the house and putting it away. Getting my study in some kind of order. Deciding what stuff I take with me: music? drawing? painting? What do I leave behind?
What needs fixing around here that I need to get to? (For example, yesterday I found our yard guy kneeling over the lawnmower, trying to put a wheel back on. How does he do these things?? I just told him to leave it. So now fixing that is a thing that needs to get done.)
What kind of social items do I need to take care of? I need to go see Lucky Stiff at the theatre this afternoon, plus make a cheesecake to take to the faculty “meeting” tomorrow. How many family meals do I need to plan to cook, which something I love doing and will miss all summer? Is there an evening for the Lichtenbergians to gather one more time? There’s a Shubian shoot on Thursday night.
Haircut? Check. Prescriptions? Semi-check. Laundry? Anything I wear all week has to be laundered before I leave. I have been known to drive into Valdosta with dirty clothes. Things I can wash: have I made time to wash them?
Is there time to go see the Monet waterlilies exhibit at the High on Sunday and still get everything packed? How will the arrival of the child’s girlfriend and her roommate on Saturday impact all of the above?
I have a database that tells me what to pack, so I don’t worry about forgetting something essential. Every year I try to take less. But you can whittle the essentials only so far and you still have a van full of plastic storage tubs. Then you start adding stuff that’s not on the database list, like the books I want to read, or the poetry books for the 24 hour challenge.
I’ve decided not to take my paints, but I will take my sketchbook and pencils. Do I take my drawing books? That’s another small load right there.
Things are a little extra complicated this year. For the first time, I have the labyrinth. I have to make sure that it’s taken care of for the summer. (I’m paying the child to maintain it.)
GHP itself has complicated the run-up period, in that I have to redesign a small sheaf of documents before I get there next week, so that time has to be figured in.
And you can tell how rattled I am by all of this just by looking at how disjointed this post is. I don’t know that writing it all down has assuaged any of my anxiety at all. I need to go make a cheesecake.