Random rants

I had a week’s worth of New York Times waiting for me when I got back from Munich. I can’t leave this nation alone for a minute!

Herewith are a couple of quick rants:

It seems we are considering a new way of achieving Eternal Lasting Victory Over Evil™ in the Near East, as we used to call it. We’re thinking of giving arms to that sea of troubles (i.e., the tribal factions in Afghanistan and Pakistan) and by letting them oppose the Taliban and Al Qaeda, end them.

Well, it’s never worked before, arming people who don’t like us but who appear to hate some of the same people we do, other than help create Al Qaeda in the first place, so why not see if it might not help this time?

In a really neat little story, the Belgian Federal Police have hired a handful of blind detectives. The reasoning was that their more acute hearing would prove useful in surveillance and in analyzing recordings, and so it has proved. The detective featured in the article, one Mr. Van Loo, is a neat guy and has chalked up several anti-terrorism cases. He’s able, when listening to surveillance tapes, for example, to tell where the person is calling from by listening to the ambient sounds and echoes on the tape.

I suppose our country could try hiring blind detectives to help with the Eternal War on Terror™, as long as they weren’t gay.

India has started requiring tourists to pay admission fees to national monuments like the Taj Mahal in rupees. They used to accept dollars, but they found they were losing money as the dollar slid more than 12% against the frigging rupee! What can one say?

In the Eternal War Against Brown People Who Mow Our Lawns™, we were successful in tracking down the arch-criminal Saída Umanzor, a maid. We quickly imprisoned her and were able to snatch her three children at the same time, including her nine-month-old daughter, who adhered to her communist/Marxist/socialist/liberal background and immediately refused to eat for three days. Something about being breast-fed and refusing a bottle or something. The arrogant infant also tried to hide behind her status as a natural-born citizen.

According to the Times:

Groups advocating curbs on immigration say that children of illegal immigrants cannot be spared the consequences of their parents’ legal violations just because they are American citizens (…or children! , Ed.)

“Children are not human shields,” said Ira Mehlman, a spokesman for the Federation for American Immigration Reform.

Hear, hear, Mr. Mehlman. Next thing you know, that damned baby is going to be squalling about equal justice for all. But let her; she and her whole family were deported later this week. Suck on that, brown underaged American citizen communist!

Tomorrow, Al Gore returns to the White House. It’s sort of embarrassing, really. It seems the man who won the 2000 popular vote also won the Nobel Peace Prize, and since the White House has always honored American laureates, it couldn’t find a way to back out this year just because Mr. Gore has been honored and vindicated every which way to Sunday. However, Dear Leader’s administration has overcome tougher realities than this one, so I look for the Eternal Terror Alert Level™ to be raised to PURPLE by tomorrow afternoon.

The Democrats continue to pass funding for Bush’s Eternal Iraqi Occupation™, and Bush continues to block it via his Congressional toadies and lickspittles like, oh, every one of Georgia’s delegation. Must be one of those Washington things.

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