You may imagine our astonishment when we awoke this morning, August 15, to find this announcement on Facebook:

WTF, as the majority of the comments ran. We were being told that we were to be the hosts for a military training operation tomorrow.

Reaction was swift and mostly negative. There were some MAGAts who apparently are thrilled that our military might be training to invade American cities to protect us from the usual suspects — immigrants, trans people, and drag queens — despite fact that our military is forbidden to do shit like this.

Beyond that, the actual language of the press release is worrisome, especially in these days of rampant Nazification. Let’s take a look, shall we?

1. Surprise! That’s tomorrow! That’s not going to raise eyebrows or panic people, not in the least HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT EVEN?

2. We all know exactly what a “United States Army Special Operations Command” is, right? Special Ops… that’s like the people who raided bin Laden? And they’re going to train here because… Hold that thought.

3. Yep, that’s what it says: “in and around” Newnan. Hold that thought.

4. “Rotary wing” operations. Could they possibly mean “helicopters”?

5. And what exactly are “operations”? I have to presume weapons will be fired. Tough, manly “warfighters” running through our neighborhood? Swarming the Court House? Getting lunch at Redneck Gourmet? Also, “ground–based, close–quarter” needs those hyphens and that comma. Your English teacher is ashamed of you.

6. “Battle training.” Ah. In and around Newnan. I’m beginning to feel as if I should be concerned, especially if it’s going to be “close-quarter.” [See: 5.]

7. “Simulates environments troops may encounter while deployed” — to small American towns, you mean?

8. “for more information”…

Let’s start there. I clicked through to the city website, where I found exactly this DOD press release along with a bit more information. But nothing that explains one bit of this.

Okay, this whole thing, taken merely as a PR announcement is a disaster. Let’s do a deep dive.

First some caveats: I am assuming that the City of Newnan was told that they were in no way to alter the wording of this release. I can assume this because a concerned citizen — whose name I am not going to publish, but THANK YOU! — made it her business to call the mayor and get some actual facts, the first of which was that “operations” weren’t going to be in Newnan, but on a piece of property that the land owner offered to the DOD for “operations.” (Hold that thought.)

Also, all of you who worship our military, please note that I don’t. Like the founding fathers, I have a deep distrust of the military. They were right, and so am I. So bugger right off with your weepy-ass SUPPORT THE TROOPS KENNETH bull.

So. What a pile of ill-begotten propaganda! The whole thing is designed to obfuscate, confuse, conceal, and intimidate. Note the jargon like “rotary wing” — why not say “helicopters” and/or “drones”? Why not indeed? Because, citizen, it is not necessary for you to understand what they are up to. In fact, they’d rather you not. One of the additional bit of info on the city website was more DOD propaganda, including the phrase “Robust safety precautions are currently in place to protect both the participants and the City residents, along with significant planning considerations to minimize the impact to the community.” Protect the participants? Bubba, you signed up to go to war — shouldn’t you be prepared to sustain injuries?

And what makes our fearless “warfighters” so concerned about their safety? Is there something in the air that makes them think that their presence in these “operations” might not be welcomed by the community and that they might need “robust” protections?

The additional information goes on to say “No public viewing opportunities will be available throughout the exercise, as the participants will maintain the highest level of security.” Translated into English, they’re telling us that you will not be protesting this event and that if you do… well, you’ve seen the ICE/DHS/National Guard videos, right? Pure intimidation.

I get it. You don’t really want civilians in the way when you’re training your teenagers to go kill people, you really don’t. They have a tendency to be a bit on edge, don’t they? And you can’t vouch for what an edgy teen with a gun might do if any part of real life intrudes into that bubble you’ve created around him. What if it suddenly dawns on him that he’s being trained to obey unlawful orders? NOT THAT THAT WILL EVER HAPPEN IN THE AMERICA KENNETH.

But this announcement? It’s practically a provocation to panic for the citizens of Newnan, for all the reasons I’ve limned above. I mean, how do we know this isn’t a “operation” to arrest enemies of the state for thoughtcrimes against Dear Leader? This communication does nothing to dispel thoughts of conspiracy.

Oh, and the property? Our intrepid citizen activist kept calling until she got the location: the old hospital building and grounds on Hospital Road. And the “land owner”? Piedmont Healthcare. Draft your emails and letters accordingly.

Onward to the Glorious Reich!