The Lyles Rule of Outrageous Truthiness: a review

So today on Facebook…

Never Would Have Guessed


Captain Kangaroo passed away on January 23, 2004 at age 76 , which is odd,
because he always looked to be 76. (DOB: 6/27/27 )
His death reminded me of the following story.

Some people have been a bit offended that the actor, Lee Marvin,
is buried in a grave alongside 3 and 4-star generals at
Arlington National Cemetery His marker gives his name,
rank (PVT) and service (USMC). Nothing else.
Here’s a guy who was only a famous movie star who served his time,
why the heck does he rate burial with these guys?
Well, following is the amazing answer:

I always liked Lee Marvin, but didn’t know the extent
of his Corps experiences.

In a time when many Hollywood stars served their country
in the armed forces often in rear echelon posts where they
were carefully protected, only to be trotted out to perform
for the cameras in war bond promotions,
Lee Marvin was a genuine hero.
He won the Navy Cross at Iwo Jima There is only one
higher Naval award… the Medal Of Honor!

If that is a surprising comment on the true character of the man,
he credits his sergeant with an even greater show of bravery.

Dialog from “The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson”:
His guest was Lee Marvin….
Johnny said,”Lee, I’ll bet a lot of people are unaware
that you were a Marine in the initial landing at Iwo Jima ..
and that during the course of that action you earned
the Navy Cross and were severely wounded.”

“Yeah, yeah… I got shot square in the bottom and they gave me
the Cross for securing a hot spot about halfway up Suribachi.
Bad thing about getting shot up on a mountain is guys getting
shot hauling you down. But, Johnny, at Iwo , I served under
the bravest man I ever knew… We both got the Cross the same day,
but what he did for his Cross made mine look cheap in comparison.
That dumb guy actually stood up on Red beach and directed his
troops to move forward and get the hell off the beach..
Bullets flying by, with mortar rounds landing everywhere and he
stood there as the main target of gunfire so that he could get his
men to safety. He did this on more than one occasion because
his men’s safety was more important than his own life.

That Sergeant and I have been lifelong friends. When they brought
me off Suribachi we passed the Sergeant and he lit a smoke and
passed it to me, lying on my belly on the litter and said,
“Where’d they get you Lee?” “Well Bob….
if you make it home before me, tell Mom to sell the outhouse!”

Johnny, I’m not lying, Sergeant Keeshan was the bravest man
I ever knew.
The Sergeant’s name is Bob Keeshan.
You and the world know him as Captain Kangaroo.”

On another note, there was this wimpy little man
(who passed away) on PBS, gentle and quiet.. Mr. Rogers is
another of those you would least suspect of being anything
but what he now portrays to our youth.
But Mr. Rogers was a U.S. Navy Seal, combat-proven in

Vietnam with over twenty-five confirmed kills to his name.
He wore a long-sleeved sweater on TV, to cover the many
tattoos on his forearm and biceps.
He was a master in small arms and hand-to-hand combat,
able to disarm or kill in a heartbeat

After the war Mr. Rogers became an ordained Presbyterian minister

and therefore a pacifist. Vowing to never harm another human and also dedicating the rest of his life to trying to help lead children on the right path in life… He hid away the tattoos and his past life and won our hearts with his quiet wit and charm..

America’s real heroes don’t flaunt what they did; they quietly go about their day-to-day lives, doing what they do best. They earned our respect and the freedoms that we all enjoy.
Look around and see if you can find one of those heroes in your midst.
Often, they are the ones you’d least suspect, but would most like to have on your side if anything ever happened……. Jus sayin


The Lyles Rule of Outrageous Truthiness states that “Any time something from the internet sounds too outrageous to be true, then you can safely bet that it’s not.”

That can be boiled down to “Cool story, bro—whoa, if true!”

The above is a lovely story, born I guess of our national fetishization of the military.  Yes, it ends talking about leading children on the “right path in life,” i.e., kindness and gentleness.  But first, boys, make sure you shoot guns and get tattoos!  After all, they’re our “real heroes,” not men like Captain Kangaroo or Mr. Rogers.

And of course, the story is not true. Not in a single significant detail.

Jus sayin.

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