Here’s another frightening thing: the music won’t stop. After spending the weekend immersed in the cello sonata, I find that returning to work is a major terror. What if I lose the thread, the inspiration, before I can get back to the score? How can I pay attention to shelving books when there’s the music waiting for me?

And every second, that music is roaring in my head, wanting to get out, wanting to push forward, to expand, to grow, to become complete.

I’m trying to regard it as merely a new phase of the process that I have to learn to deal with. But it’s frightening.

4 thoughts on “Fear

  1. Also, it has occurred to me that the recapitulation of the Moderato is of course basically already written. I can copy and paste what I’ve written already into a separate file, then transpose the B theme from F major to A major, then fix the transition to the B theme, then write the ending/coda. Then all I have to do is connect the exposition to the recapitulation with an interesting and organic development, which I’ve already started.

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