Satanic influences

Heavens. One has to love a column which contains the sentence, “For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.” It’s just so adorable. You can read it here.

You will notice that this is a cached version. By the time I had read the snarky summary at Huffington Post and decided that I would brave the original, Christian Broadcasting Network had taken it down. You would think such a devout organization would have firmer principles.

Shakespeare, as usual, gives us the exact phrase for this kind of thinking: “so excellently ignorant.” This woman has absolutely no evidentiary structure on which to base her world-view other than her belief in her own fictive lenses. Notice I do not say faith. This is not faith, it is narrative.

I can just imagine the firefight that broke out when this got “reprinted” at CBN. While many of CBN’s readers probably agree with her that Halloween is of the devil, I would bet about half of them looked askance at her hysterically ahistorical take on Harvest Home.

This is the kind of mindset with which it is useless to argue: the jargon, the fictive structure, the blinkered dichotomous worldview—this is a person who has settled into a dopamine fix which rewards the thrills most of us feel when we’re seven years old and nestling in a cardboard box while the monsters roam the backyard around us. This author wouldn’t even understand anything I have just said. She is a Flatlander, and any sphere who approaches her will be greeted by shrieks of “She’s a witch!”

Bless her heart.

5 thoughts on “Satanic influences

  1. I love how she twists scriptures around until they mean what she wants – wait, I think a lot of them do that. Is she actually saying that God hates the entire autumnal season? And when does she expect to have bonfires? Mid-July? The sad thing is, I know she believes what she’s saying. Or at least that there are people out there who believe what she’s saying (she’s a speaker, could be in it for the money). I knew many people (still do) who believed so much of this superstitious crap. Demons in candy? I got raked over the coals by a family friend for buying a troll doll because I was endangering my soul by even being near it. And people wonder why I don’t go to church anymore.

  2. The bit that really made my head spin was the one about Halloween’s colors being “orange, brown, and dark red.” Hello? Every kindergartener knows they’re orange and black, with purple thrown in by marketing these days.

    The other thing is how she conflates the supposed use of things like bonfires and harvest festivals by “witches and demons” with their evil intent. Because devil-worshipers use bonfires, she says, bonfires are evil in and of themselves. One’s eyebrows raise.

    I don’t think this one is in it for the money; I think she honestly believes it all.

  3. In fact, it occurred to me yesterday that “orange, brown, and dark red” are the colors for Thanksgiving.

    I knew there was something creepy about that holiday.

  4. Some recent incidences in my own life have made me realize that if this story is true (my husband wonders if it might be an elaborate hoax to make CBN look dumber), then she does believe it all. Or at least, as I said, there are those who do. And they have no problem at all with telling you to your face why you’re wrong.
    And here I thought Thanksgiving was supposed to be a religious holiday (that’s what I’m told).

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