Meditation: Anger

Take a deep breath.

I used to get very angry. Most of it was the self-righteousness of the young, of course, but some of it was a deep-seated personality flaw, by which I mean that I was unaware that my “green”ness was not actually an unflawed way of looking at the world. The fact that greens are “98% right”, and it is a fact… trust me…, doesn’t mean we’re 98% correct.

It took me a long time to realize that other solutions to problems I encountered could be as valid as the one I proposed. In other words, I realized that what I thought was the way things were supposed to be was just my brilliant evaluation and only that.

Eventually, I became aware that sometimes the best way for others to realize the weakness of a plan was not for me to point it out but to allow them get it wrong. Enough times of that happening, and one builds a reputation for reliability, if not outright infallibility in some circles.

And of course, if things went well, that was fine, too. There would always be time to refine the process if necessary. Successive approximation became my modus operandi, and I was able to expunge a major source of my anger, in that I could relax if my solutions were not the ones adopted by whatever group I was involved in.

What makes me angry now? Waste, mostly, people wasting time or energy or talent. George W. Bush wasting our nation’s reputation and standing in the world, not to mention our treasury. Me wasting my time and talents in regards to my music.

But my anger these days is self-contained. I don’t direct it outwards, because I don’t like the way that feels. Instead, I focus on it and allow it to dissipate into a sadness over things I cannot directly affect or to become the determination to change the things I can.

What anger has to do with “masculine meditations” is a bit of a puzzle to me. My wife has a much fiercer temper than I and is not averse at all to releasing into the atmosphere. The assumption that men have an “anger problem” is more than a bit sexist, although I realize there is a connection between testosterone and rage. As always, these things are more of a personal problem than a gender issue.

9 thoughts on “Meditation: Anger

  1. Do all of your readers understand the color thing? Some may think this all has to do with energy and environment issues.

    “…by which I mean that I was unaware that my “green”ness was not actually an unflawed way of looking at the world.” Was the impossible negating syntax of that acknowledgement a self-conscious joke or is it still a bit tough to confess imperfection?

    I would be accused of having anger issues if I didn’t end all my sentences with “just kidding.” “Just kidding” is very useful.

  2. Short version:

    Directionality/True Colors = boiled-down Meyers/Briggs personality test.

    Each color deals with reality and relationships through different lenses. We’re all a combination, but usually a single color predominates.

    • Green = hyperrational, intellectual
    • Blue = interpersonal, empathetic
    • Yellow = organized, rules and goal oriented
    • Red = sensation seeking

    It is actually very useful in dealing with other people and understanding why their worldview doesn’t mesh with yours.

  3. The color chart made things clearer. I was taking “green”ness as meaning inexperienced since you had referenced youth in the previous sentence. The color chart puts that sentence in much better prospective.

    And I agree that anger has less to do with gender and is more of a personal issue.

  4. Oh I forgot to mention I find Anger to be a complete waste of energy, unless it can be used to be a motivator for action. But of course the consequences of that, without moderation by other forces, can be disatrous.

  5. 1. What do you not know?

    2. What do you not know you don’t know?

    Paradox. Yes, the last refuge of a second-rate mind. Don’t tell me you know that.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.