I demand an explanation…

…for this.

Funt, are you responsible for this?

And this was just plain stupid. What did he think everyone’s reaction would be? “Oh noes, a conservative wanker just got attacked by two shadowy figures? I’d better keep it in my pants!!1!”

16 thoughts on “I demand an explanation…

  1. Ooooooo. I hope they do the Monopoly one in the same means they did Jumanji and the spacey one.

    Wait. No I don’t.

  2. Wow. Wow. I actually have a bit in my stand-up act about how they are making movies out of everything now (old TV shows, Theme Park Rides, et al.). I then go on to suggest making movies out of, that’s right, board games. The one I suggest in the bit is Hungry, Hungry Hippos, but Monopoly is just as ludicrous. I MAY BE indirectly responsible for this. Some H’wood, jerkoff producer just going to a comedy club for fun. (Or something. They don’t have fun.) Hear’s a comic talking about making movies from board games. Being a producer, and thus having no sense of humor or irony, says, “That’s genius. I’ll do it, and pretend it was my idea.”

    Oh, the humanity. Our Saturday discussion of art can’t come soon enough.

  3. I got it! Hungry, Hungry Hippos starring Miley Cyrus and Zac Efron as two yet-to-be-discovered pop stars who are booked to tour Zambezi by their unscrupulous agent, played by Danny DeVito if we can’t get Alec Baldwin. When they find they are stranded up the great, grey-green, greasy Limpopo River without anything but a paddle, they have to rely on their wits (and their new-found friend M!puto, played by some new discovery) to make it down the river in time to play their show at the HippoDrome in Ngeleville.

  4. Jenga: The Motion Picture?

    Scrabble: Episode I: The Adventures of Zelma, Assisted Living Champion

  5. Oh, and I forgot: along the way they discover fascinating new rhythms and riffs in exciting musical sequences that, incorporated into their act, put them over the top.

  6. Dale you know far too much about High School Musical, both parts, needless to say Hungry, Hungry Hippos. By the way did you notice that the second and third graders love the books about High School Musical.? That is bad bews for the stodgy old Republicans trying to raise their children striaght while teaching them a few wide stance bathroom tricks. The (the stodgy ones) will love the new Monopoly family movie.

  7. Turff, don’t be naïve: the White House would claim executive privilege over most of the source material. And Congress would let them.

  8. This has nothing to do with the topic. (Don’t forget Clue.) On the lacunagroup post you are inited to create collectively around an issue of Art (per Dale’s request): http://www.lacunagroup.org/blog/?p=125
    with the hope that we can amuse ourselves with it come Saturday. I’m not passing the buck, I hope, by opening it up to collective participation.

  9. In fact, the reason DeVito has stranded Miley and Zac up the Limpopo with a paddle is that they’re one of those packaged pop duos (har!) who are not clicking because they don’t like each other and can’t work together. If they don’t show up in Ngeleville, he gets to keep the gate and start over. Or something like that.

    The scary thing is that now Mike is thinking he could actually pitch this.

  10. You know what would be extremely fabulous about Monopoly: the Movie? If Ridley Scott went with the rumored original intent of the game’s inventor and made it an object lesson in the horrors of unrestrained capitalism. That would be sweet.

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