I Would Never

I worked on “I Would Never,” Groucho/Thurgood’s Act II novelty song, in which he sings (for seven verses and choruses) how he would never disparage a lady just because she had some hysterically funny thing wrong with her. I wrote the music for the verse, then started patching it together.

It still lacks an intro, in which he’ll introduce the concept (referring to Lydia and Egyptian Ella in the process), and it lacks the end, in which he lets loose with a long catalog of names. I’m also going to work in a Gilbert and Sullivan-esque chorus for him.

Here’s the piano score, and here’s the mp3. This is a long song.

5 thoughts on “I Would Never

  1. Oh, the whole show is designed to be rearranged to suit the needs of the producing organization. None of the songs are organic, so you can add and subtract them at will. Likewise, you could drop/add verses however you like, add a chorus to it, change keys, etc.

    Plus, in the hands of Groucho, a song this long becomes a weapon.

  2. Watch Animals Crackers or At the Circus again. Hooray for Captain Spaulding and Lydia are both pretty long and repetative.

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