I Would Never (Day 359/365)

Up early this morning so that the painters can come finish the hall and Grayson’s bathroom, and I worked on verses:

Dissociative disorder Delores [thanks, Marc!]
Offered multiple ways to have fun.
When she sang it was always a chorus,
But then she would flourish a gun.

Romanian gymnast Ivana
Had many intriguing techniques.
But then she would take a banana and
Put you off of fruit salad for weeks.

Then there’s the lovely Vanessa,
a scrumptious, delectable dream:
Every time I’d begin to caress her
She’d grab both her buttocks and scream.

I thought I could love Amaryllis,
A waitress I stumbled upon,
But then she would give me the willies
when she followed me into the john.

I need to write actual music for this, but Roger-the-guy-who-fixes-the-air-conditioning is on vacation this week, so I’d have to drag all my stuff down from the study and set it up. I may do that next week if he’s not available soon.

By the way, the big finish will be a huge catalog of names, like a cadenza in a concerto, ending with

[huge catalog]
Leilani, Lolita, Letitia, and Lou,
Ula and Uma and Ursula, too:
For though they were total emotional wrecks,
And never forgetting the excellent sex,
I’d never, no never, (What, never?, Well, hardly ever…) disparage an ex.

3 thoughts on “I Would Never (Day 359/365)

  1. Pretty funny stuff. I’m honored to be responsible for one of the hopelessly obscure jokes.

  2. One of those stanzas actually made me laugh out loud. It would do my reputation no good at all to admit as to which…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.